You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
