i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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