So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
