With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
