butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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