im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
