If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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