Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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