Girls should come with a carfax report
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
