Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
