It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
