i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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