So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i believe in u and ur pee
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