If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
