Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
