Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
