i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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