Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize