well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
How external is "for external use only"?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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