You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
