Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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