Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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