he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
