I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
