You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Everything about him screamed your future.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
