I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize