...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
BRING THE BAGELS
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
