Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Come on in and take your pants off
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