And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
