He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
