You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
