would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
