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• (440): View more from Ohio

  D3 body, D1 cock

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• (646): View more from New York

  So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario

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• (631): View more from New York

  I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"

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• (904): View more from Florida

  And my parents said I crawled through the house

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.

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• (585): View more from New York

  We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.

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