Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
