Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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