yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
