Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My cat gives me a boner
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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