Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
