I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
whose ass print is on the piano?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
