too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
