your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
