And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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