the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize