please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
