It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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