woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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