Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
