She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
