My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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