"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
