Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
