i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
