just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
