If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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