The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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