I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
