I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
