we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
